The Art of Conversation – Part 2

Have you ever met someone and knew for sure you wouldn’t like them? The first time I came across a blog post by http://bottomlesscoffee007.com I was so sure the post was written by someone I could never like. His views didn’t align with mine at all and he was harsh in his criticism of “the other side”; and since I am here (on WordPress) for some lighthearted conversation and humor, I stopped myself from leaving a commentary with my opposing views and just moved along to someone else’s blog post.

It was only a couple of days later when BottomlessCoffee007 showed up again. This time he was in the comment section of my blog post. I rolled my eyes when I first got the notification that he had left a comment on one of my posts. What did he have to say about what I had written? As luck would have it he had left a humorous comment. I chuckled as I read it and then I replied. A few minutes later I got a notification that he was now “following” my Blog and since I am a big advocate of reciprocity I followed him back and that was how 007 and I started.

He would show up in my Inbox daily, sometimes twice or thrice with his controversial opinions, arguments, and rants. Admittedly, his pieces were thought-provoking and gave rise to discourse, even though they were views I didn’t readily share. I eventually started commenting on some of his posts and lo and behold he wasn’t miffed whenever I didn’t agree with him, which happens frequently.๐Ÿ˜ƒ We would oftentimes go back and forth several times on just one of his post and in the end, we would always agree to disagree.

I came to admire the manner in which he wrote his pieces and invited dialogue. He addresses every issue you put forth before him and he is never obnoxious in his response to your comments even when you have opposing views. It’s surprising to me that 007 has become one of my favorites on WordPress, despite his controversy, and I am learning to embrace our differences.

007’s blog has taken on a life of its own and now he even has his very own Podcast, which has risen in popularity in only a few months. I am honored to have been the first Blogger he interviewed on his Podcast back in December. You can listen to that interview here: The Art of Conversation. We recently switched seats and he allowed me to interview him, in an effort to have his readers learn more about him. It was truly an interesting and fun conversation that lasted over an hour and forty-five minutes. If you’re interested in listening the link appears below. I promise you won’t be bored.

What 007 has taught me in this extremely divisive climate that we live in is that we don’t have to see eye to eye to get along. If we would only pause and listen, I mean really listen, to others who do not share the same perspectives and views as us we could possibly learn something; and not because we are not on similar sides of the coin it doesn’t mean we can’t have a decent conversation punctuated with a few deep down, genuine, belly laughs.

https://bottomlesscoffee007.com/2019/02/05/the-voice-behind-the-keyboard-racquel-interviews-bc007-tidepodcast-episode-52/

Photo courtesy of StockSnap.io (This is how I imagine 007 as a kid screaming his rants into the microphone ๐Ÿ˜ƒ๐Ÿ˜ƒ๐Ÿ˜ƒ).

78 thoughts on “The Art of Conversation – Part 2

  1. 007 is one of my favourite bloggers. He is quite interesting and great to talk to. He and I like to talk as well, though not as much as when we first connected. We don’t always agree, but like you, we agree to disagree. I do sometimes get frustrated (or roll my eyes) at the questions he asks, but that’s nothing to do with him. It’s probably more due to the fact that I am not sure of the answer. I consider him a friend, though I don’t think he does consider me one, but that is quite okay.
    Sounds like you two would have a roaring great time if you two met physically.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. This was awesome. If only we’d take out time to just sit and listen to people. We just never know. I too applaud you for what you did, this was not only interesting but needed I think in our current climate. Who says we can’t all get along?….

    Great Post!

    Liked by 2 people

  3. I applaud you Rakkelle for taking the time and spending the energy to connect with someone with apparent opposing views. I do think it’s possible for people to have meaningful dialogue across the divide, but it takes effort. I have had two experiences of this, with friends who identified as conservative or Republican (back when that meant something different than it does today). Although I’m a vocal progressive I believe decent human beings share the same basic values: they care about family and community; they value honesty and hard work; they enjoy and care about at least some aspect of the natural world; they believe people should be treated with dignity and respect. I think when we talk about issues from those deep places, we discover that maybe the labels don’t always fit. Once my friends and I found our shared values and got out of the labels, we could see when we talked about current events that there was stuff we in fact agreed on. Like I said, this took a fair amount of effort, and in all honesty I’ve since retreated into the comfort of my own progressive bubble.:) So kudos to you!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. It wasn’t easy and I’m still working on my patience and generally becoming a good listener of “the other side”. Not just hearing but actually listening. I am, however, a work in progress. When met with a decent, listening ear then I am usually able to give back the same.

      Like you said, though, we are all shaped by the same core values. We all care about family and community and appreciate honesty and hard work.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Hey Rakelle! So i listened to the podcast/interview with you and 007 and might i say he couldn’t have chosen a better blogger for his first interview. It was interesting and funny and you both kept it so real especially by you both drawing on your personal experiences. I was particularly drawn to your story about the lawyer who wanted to get some down time , lied about it and then got caught out by the pics he posted. It’s unfortunate and whilst as an officer of the court you really ought not to mislead the court, people need to stop and think twice because as nice as it is to share on social media and rack up all those likes, it’s not your living room and so even with the best of privacy settings, it really isn’t private.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Exactly, Betty! The social media thing has us oversharing. We also tend to forget about the ‘lurkers’ on our friend list, the ones who are there watching our every move but we forget they’re there since they never post anything.

      I can’t believe you listened to the entire thing, Betty. You’re so supportive of me and my endeavors you have no idea how much it means to me. Thank you sooooo much.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Your first podcast with him is what put him on my radar. Shortly thereafter, I went toe to toe with him on a heated issue and texted you behind the scenes as I wasnโ€™t sure what Iโ€™d gotten myself into. Since then, Iโ€™ve sparred with him several times and we almost always get to a point where we agree that we will disagree, though I also appreciate that he acknowledges โ€œwinsโ€. By that I mean that whenever weโ€™re involved in a heated discussion where we are clearly on opposite sides, there are always comments, facts or ideas that are stated by both that make the other mentally stop to consider it. Most of us, me included, battle on in our position, but BC will shine light on those comments, facts and ideas that gave him a mental pause. Itโ€™s absolutely the highest compliment when the other side acknowledges that youโ€™ve made a good point and the few times heโ€™s given me those (genuine) compliments, heโ€™s truly ingratiated himself to me. I fall down in this area and he is a terrific example of how to be a gracious adversary.

    You, on the other hand, are just plain FAB – and the newest podcast where you flipped roles was positively delightful to listen to! You complain about your voice, but itโ€™s like butter. And you brought out the humanity and charm in him that he hides in his political posts. He needed you to spotlight the personality behind the microphone/keyboard so we can apprecite him even more. A huge win in your column for having and implementing the idea!!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Heather, my phone kept buzzing with the notifications as you read and liked some of the comments on this piece, and I got excited because I couldn’t wait to hear what you had to say about this post. As usual, I am absolutely delighted when you leave your very detailed, comprehensive commentary. You never disappoint.

      Yes, 007 does acknowledge “wins”, which is something not many of us do when we are engaged in a heated debate with another person. This aspect of his personality should really be acknowledged. Such traits are rare.

      Wow! Thank you for your kind, genuine words. It really was fun interviewing 007 and I am thrilled that you found the time to listen, especially since our conversation went on for so long. It really was an enjoyable experience “spotlighting” 007’s authentic persona.

      My voice – yeah, I’m not too keen on the sound of my recorded voice at all; the only thing I love about it is the oh so subtle Jamaican accent that tends to come out when I least expect it. I truly appreciate the compliment on my voice.

      So much love for your comment, Heather. Thank you! ๐Ÿ’•

      Liked by 2 people

      1. This post is a much deserved love note to a mutual friend who we love to “hate”. It’s great to be able to flip over the coin and proclaim our love and appreciation for him. Thank you for setting the stage and starting the conversation!

        Your accent is just an added bonus to your voice! Very few of us actually like hearing our own recorded voices play back – and that’s because we don’t actually sound like we think we do in our heads. Because we have gotten used to our own “head” voices, we expect to hear the same thing when recorded and are surprised when it just isn’t. You can desensitize yourself to your own recorded voice by hearing it enough, you’ll eventually accept it and stop judging it. Now don’t get me started on videos of myself – gawd. Everyone else is used to watching/seeing me in “action”, but when I see myself played back, I certainly don’t match the image in my head that I have of myself. I notice EVERY, SINGLE. TIC. And I’ve been surprised to learn I have a TON of them! Ugh…

        Liked by 2 people

      2. I love your videos though; but you’re right, we are harder on ourselves than anyone else. We notice every damn tic about ourselves. I remember the first time I saw myself walk in a video I was like, “WTF?! Why do I walk like that?! Like I’m kicking away my own feet.” ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

        Liked by 2 people

  6. I have had the pleasure of knowing coffee for going on 15 years now and he has not changed much At all. He’s a great guy and a truly caring person. It’s been really entertaining to watch him interact with people in this medium because he is someone i had always looked up to for his honesty and penchant for speaking truth to power. It’s really nice to see other people appreciate those qualities in him as well. -Steve

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Hi Steve,

      Welcome to my Blog. Thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment. You’re perhaps the only one of us who know 007 in real life. I am glad to learn that my analysis of him is right on the money. ๐Ÿ™‚

      Liked by 2 people

  7. When he first commented on one of my posts, I thought he was an extremely, strong, independent, out-spoken woman! Mr. Coffee has become one of my favorite fellow bloggers. I never have to feel on the defensive with him. He is a perfect gentleman, honest to the core, and fun and entertaining; a very rare combination these days! Thanks, Mr. Coffee!

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Hi Sandi,

      Confession – the very first time I came across 007’s post I thought he was a she. In fact, for some reason, I thought he was a black woman because in his comment section he was responding to one of his readers and used the word,”Girl”; and since that’s how I refer to my friends I thought for sure he was a black woman. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

      Liked by 3 people

      1. That is so funny because he said that “girl” word to me, too. I concluded right then and there that he was a she until months later when I read one of his articles that said he was retired from the military and had a wife. Now I’m thinking he’s a she and is a lesbian. When I finally figured out that she’s a he, I concluded that he is black because of some of his comments. Isn’t it funny how we draw our own conclusions based on what we think we hear? I’m just glad I figured out she’s a he. Not that it matters. I just like to know!

        Liked by 2 people

  8. It just shows how big of a person YOU are.
    My posts can be highly controversial, too, so I have experience with people who disagree. (Plus everyday life experience.) You go the extra mile to try and understand the other side. Even if you get heated, you give the other side the chance to diffuse the situation. Kudos to you. Not many can do that. We can all hope for readers open to conversations like you.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Gotta tell you though, Goldie, we are so ingrained with our own beliefs, me included, that it is initially hard to open up and listen to the other side. It was challenging, but 007 is so engaging that it forces me to listen. I may not agree, I may never agree, but at least I listen and I try to understand.

      Thanks Goldie! I live by the rule, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you” or “Treat others the way you wanted to be treated” so I give others a chance, TRY not to judge *which is a challenge*, and listen, since I want to be listened to.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Do you think you’d have gotten so close with Coffee if there was no podcast? You mentioned that when you read his first posts you were taken aback by how they sounded to you, but then the podcasts helped you understand his ways better. Would you still hang around, engage, etc. if it was just text and no voice?

        Liked by 2 people

  9. I love BC. Heโ€™s unique and interesting and most of all he just โ€˜isโ€™. Thereโ€™s no stupid shittery like there can be when talking to someone of the opposite sex. You can have a conversation with him where creed and colour are immaterial. He is what he is and accepts us as we are. Itโ€™s so refreshing. Iโ€™ve followed his blog from the first post I read and it remains one of my favourites. Some of my other favourites are people I found directly because of his blog so itโ€™s not just a source of intriguing posts but equally fascinating commentors. Thereโ€™s nothing to lose following our boy!!

    Liked by 3 people

      1. Definitely Victoria from The Hinoeuma, JM and Rue off the top of my head. Iโ€™m not sure where you and I found each other but Iโ€™d count you regardless. Same for Obinna. Sadly, I donโ€™t often remember where I made my finds! Iโ€™m just delighted when I find great blogs to follow. I couldnโ€™t even tell you how I found BC!!

        Liked by 2 people

  10. Haven’t yet listened to the podcast but I will. Our differences and differences in opinion make us interesting and make for good conversation. When we can’t see eye to eye, we can always agree to disagree…like you and 007 have done. Good on you Racqs!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Sometimes one just has to listen to differing views and then just let ish go. No need for the “hate” or “arguements”. It’s tiring and doesn’t do much for convincing the other side or bringing them to your way of thinking.

      Liked by 2 people

  11. I have to say it really depends on what the other side/opinion or different view. If that different opinion is, I prefer green socks over yellow, ok, thatโ€™s harmless. However, if that other opinion lacks a sense of humanity, respect and compassion for all human life, then there canโ€™t be a conversation. Iโ€™m not necessarily referring to bottomlesscoffee as I donโ€™t know what heโ€™s about or why heโ€™s so โ€œcontroversial.โ€ In our current world, people are hiding the word โ€œcontroversyโ€ to push racist, anti-immigrant agendas, which is absolutely dangerous. Iโ€™m down for disagreeing when it comes to socks, however, if that disagreement involves the promotion of some supremacist ideology, duces. โœŒ๐Ÿพ

    Liked by 2 people

  12. I think listening to “the other side” of our opinions is healthy. If we are open to discourse it will either help us see a blind-spot and correct it or it will help us better define why we believe what we believe. Either way it does sharpen us. If we agree on absolutely everything then one of us is redundant. Bwah ha ha

    Liked by 4 people

    1. My point exactly. I am not here to change how you think and I certainly don’t want you changing my views but enjoy the building and sharpening of the mind. Besides, things are never just black or white, there is a whole bunch of grey in between. ๐Ÿ˜

      Liked by 2 people

  13. Before social media? We always agreed to disagreed with our friends… heck, most of the times we never even knew who they voted for. (Or cared to be honest.) But now? Everyone is tribal. Red, blue. Left, right. Pick a side, stay there and attack anyone with opposing views. Thatโ€™s not a world I want to live in. Your relationship with this blogger is a great example that it doesnโ€™t always have to be that way…

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Yes, yes RiverGirl. It was all different before social media. It’s ironic that you would say that because my “sponsor” on this particular Podcast is social media and my little quip on it is laden with sarcasm. ๐Ÿ˜‚

      Liked by 2 people

  14. I love love love this! So amazing you posted this here.

    I find myself labeled sometimes as leaning a certain way and it makes me defensive (but you wouldn’t know it, I don’t argue this way on the internet) but then I noticed something: the people who label me a certain way have only like-minded individuals following/liking/commenting on their social media posts. There’s only agreement, no diverse thinking, debating, pondering. They’re all the same because they appear to fear the differences, the diversity. Or outright reject it.

    It does nothing for me. I look for views that stimulate the brain. Get us out of the fog, the rut.

    Great post Rakkelle.

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Precisely Claudette. It’s great to be stimulated.

      I like to be given some food for thought. Absolutely nothing wrong with a nice, healthy debate. It’s 007 himself who always says about his disagreement with others that, “Iron sharpens iron.” There is something to be said for listening and hearing another’s perspective. It will oftentimes sharpen the mind.

      Thanks for your comment, Claudette. I like how you think.

      Liked by 1 person

  15. I love that he doesn’t dismiss your opinions whenever he disagrees with them. He would acknowledge the sense in them, but will still try to make you see reason with his opinions. If there’s anyone who knows how to have a healthy argument, it’s definitely Coffee.

    Liked by 3 people

  16. 007 is someone who you just have to talk with openly about what ever the subject matter is. He enjoys getting his point across and I really do like listening to his Podcasts. He is one that will go far with his format and guests he has lined up. I have listened to your show twice now Rakkelle and have enjoyed it. It was fun sounding and the banter just went on naturally. Just like two friends getting to know each other or you know right lol Thanks Rakkelle !!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I’m glad you listened, James. 007 and I go on for so long sometimes I worry that people won’t listen, so I’m especially happy to hear that you listened in its entirety. Thanks for that.

      007 is a natural conversationalist and is damn good at what he does. He really has that type of voice that’s made for radio. Me? Not so much but he definitely does. He’s a great interviewer and turned out to be a wonderful interviewee.

      Liked by 2 people

  17. He & I squared off months ago on someone else’s blog comment section. I disagreed with him on a ‘female’ issue. I just KNEW he was going to be a jackass because that is usually what I got on FB. Nope. We went back & forth and, he stated his thoughts without attitude. During our exchanges, I figured out that he was definitely military and he never mentioned that.

    He can be a bomb thrower but, it’s his version of a greeting. Heh.

    Liked by 4 people

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