It’s that time of the year when we string the lights, decorate the tree, bake cookies, drink too much eggnog and overeat; but before we do all of that I’d like to first acknowledge the human who gave my life added purpose. My life always had meaning but I got a swift kick in the behind to make sure I do it right 15 years ago today when my obstetrician handed me a 10 lb bundle and said, “Here he is. What’d you think?”
Honestly, my first thought wasn’t, “Oh my gosh, he’s so precious. I’m in love.” Instead, my very first thought was, “Who’s baby is this? This kid doesn’t look like me. Why is he so light?”
I quickly got over the lack of resemblance when I took a closer look at the nose. Yep, he was mine alright, that nose is unmistakable. Blake didn’t scream or cry when he first got here, instead, he just stared, he actually seemed to look around the room, observing his new surroundings. Fifteen years later and by golly he still does the same thing, I’m always in awe when I watch him carefully observe his surroundings instead of just walking right in.
My next thoughts as I held him was “What do I do now? What I am I supposed to do with him now?” Blake seemed to read my mind as he nuzzled against my chest and started searching, he found his food supply, latched on and went to town, pulling and sucking and feeding hungrily. Damn, that shit hurt!
It’s been 15 years and Blake’s appetite has not changed. He still has a voracious, healthy appetite. The kid will eat anything.
It’s astounding how much Blake’s current persona mirrors my labor experience. I was scheduled to deliver the baby on December 4th, which I thought was kind of cool since it was rapper Jay-Z’s birthday; but Blake had other plans and arrived at 12:06 am the next day. He was not to be rushed and to this day, he still does things on his own terms and refuses to be rushed or cajoled into anything, which can be both good and bad.
My labor was fairly painless, I had a surge of pain for a few minutes, called for the epidural, which I had initially thought I wouldn’t want since I always saw myself as an Amazonian natural labor type of girl but when that indescribable pain ripped through me and I wasn’t dilated enough to push I quickly called for the epidural in order to get some kind of relief. Honestly, the only pain I felt during labor wasn’t more than about 15 minutes but it was the longest 15 minutes of my life.
Similarly, raising Blake, luckily, has been rather painless. Yeah, there are the usual ups and downs that come with parenting but thankfully he has made it relatively easy for me. The disappointments and WTF moments have been few and far between and for that, I am eternally gratefully.
Does he make me repeat myself too much? Sure! One day I decided to count how many times I had to tell him to clean his room before he actually cleaned it and it turned out to be 8 times, all of 8 times before I had to threaten him with the wrath of God in order to get him moving.
I am in sheer disbelief at how lazy my teenager can be. Like, seriously, how hard can it be to put your clothes in the laundry basket when you take them off instead of tossing them on the floor; and how many times do I have to tell my child to make his bed before he leaves for school in the mornings and for God’s sake why won’t he hang his wet towel back in the bathroom after he has used it instead of throwing it on his unmade bed?
The kid is as loving as he is lazy so even though I bitch at him to clean up after himself I still get all the hugs and kisses and “I love you” that I can handle despite him being at that age where it isn’t considered cool to do so.
It has been a tumultuous, loving, exasperating, sweet, mind-boggling and beautiful 15 years of motherhood. Blake was sent here to get me out of my comfort zone, the one where everything I did I got it right and was so self-assured and confident about all my endeavors. Motherhood has had me second guessing every decision I have ever made. Am I doing it properly? Am I getting it right? Am I too strict or am I too lenient? Should I impose a weekend bedtime or allow him to stay up as late as he wants as long as he gets all his homework done? Should I have the password to his phone? Or should I allow him his privacy?
It’s crazy that after all these years together, I am still not sure if my parenting method is correct. I figured by the time I got to child #2, I would have had it all figured out but it is obvious that child # 2 is not happening. Growing up I always thought I was going to have a few kids of my own, at least 3 or 4, but as faith would have it that was not in the cards. However, every day I thank my lucky stars that since I only got one I am thankful it’s this one. I couldn’t have picked a more ideal kid that compliments my own personality.
Blake is not perfect but he’s perfect for me. Happy Birthday to the biggest reality check I’ve ever experienced. The kid keeps me on my toes in a such a crazy, weird yet fantastic way. Not only do I love him but I like him too.
Here’s to Big Blake! My 6′ 2 15-year-old who makes me oh so proud to be his Mom.
Handsome boy.
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Thank you, Victoria!
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❤
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How sweet! Happy Birthday to him ❤
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Thank you, Kathy.
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Happy Birthday, Blake! And congrats to mama who I’m pretty sure IS getting it right! He was a beautiful baby and now he’s a very handsome young man.
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Thank you, Debbie; and best of all he is a nice young man with good manners. My boy!
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That’s awesome!
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I applaud your honesty,your feelings and understanding the whole process and the blessed bigger picture,you have been blessed and you always keep 💯, ☮️
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Awwwww! I appreciate your commentaries on all my pieces. Thank you for reading
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You always cool and down to earth with me, ☮️
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Awww, sweet post, sounds like you’re doing it right.
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Thank you so much….I am trying. 😊
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Happy birthday… how handsome!
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Thank you, Doll!
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He looks just like you (obviously) 🙂 Happy Birthday, Blake!
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😂 Now he does. ☺
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Aww, happy birthday to Blake – and good job, mama!!
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😊😊😊 He had a good day.
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Heartwarming tribute to your son and to motherhood. Happy Birthday to Blake!
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😘
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Lovely tribute to a handsome young man! And hey, don’t worry about the only child thing, I’m one and look how well I turned out…
😄
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😂😂😂😂
You can tell a lot about a person by not only their writing style but what they choose to write about and I think you’re wonderful, River Girl, all jokes aside.
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Right back at ya lady!
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All those questions you ask – wondering if you’re a good mom – the fact that you ask those questions and reflect prove that you’re the best kind – and I bet he thinks so too despite the 8 calls to clean his room! ❤ Happy Birthday to your son from Canada!
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Hahaha @ “despite the 8 calls to clean his room”.
Thank you for commenting and sending my Blakey well-wishes.
I always enjoy your blog posts. Gonna now head on over to your page to see what “Fish” has been up to. 😀
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Awww, thanks Emma. How old is your daughter? If you don’t mind saying.
Hahaha…Yes, we Mamas repeat ourselves all the time.
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You write with so much love and passion. This brings happy tears to my eyes… also have one… perfect of course in my eyes… this morning though I repeated myself too many times… I guess I’m the grand scheme of things… it is all worth it! Happy birthday 🥳 🥰
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Happy birthday to your baby boy!! (Yup, his baby pics look just like my youngest.)
They grow up so fast 😭😭😭
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Hahaha…Your youngest sounds like he’s a butterball like Blake was. Chunky arms and thighs. 😁😂
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We never know if our parenting method is “right” because, frankly, we won’t know until our kids grow up. However, so long as we do what feels right for us, our children, and our relationship with our children, who cares what anyone else thinks?
I struggled a ton with that but now, looking back, I see how going with my gut worked best for us and especially, my child. Still in process…
Great post!
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“We won’t know until our kids grow up”…True! So true!
I appreciate your comment. Thanks!
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Happy Birthday Blake! If you’re a third as awesome as your mum you’ll be incredible 😊
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😘😊😍😚😘☺
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aw, what a wonderful son you have. Many more birthdays to him, many blessings
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Awwwww….You gave me a comment. LOL…Thanks, Sis. He’s a pretty cool kid.
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hahahahaha, much love, most welcome 💕💕😍
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Awww what a beautiful tribute to your son. Many more happy moments to come and Happy 15th Birthday Blake! My son was the same, lazy, up until he started to live on his own he realized, there’s no one around to pick up after him. Ha.
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🤣😂😂 So there is hope yet.
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Yes. There is. Lol
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Happy birthday Blake.
Ps Rakelle, my son is 17 and very rarely cleans his room. He drives me crazy nut but i love him so.
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Kavitha, oh how I have missed you.
Thank you for sending Blake some love all the way from South Africa. 🙂
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6’2” and only 15, that’s a man!!! That was a wonderful story Rakkelle. Thanks for sharing and happy birthday to your son. He’s a handsome man.
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007, can you believe this comment went to Spam? I have no idea why. I just found it when I stumbled across the Spam folder.
Thanks for the well-wishes though.
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Of course Rakkelle!!!
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Aww! Happy momma… and “Happy Birthday” to your son!!
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Thanks much!
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He’s soooo handsome!! and those baby pics reminded me of when my son was born who was 9Ibs 15oz so a close millisecond to 10! Happy Birthday to BLAKE!! I wish him many many many more happy birthdays. You did well Sis! You raised a good man….much love!
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Wow Roshonda, you had a big one too. How tall is he now?
Thanks for the well wishes, Sis!
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What a special tribute to a special Prince! Happy birthday to him. Much love to you all this wonderful time of year 😘😘💙💙
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😘😘😘😘😘
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You’ve been tagged in 20 Questions “with friends”! 🥰
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Happy Birthday to Blake! Our kids’ bdays always make us reflect on the journey w/them. They definitely teach us as much as they learn from us.
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Definitely!!!!
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Hes a cutie patutie! My son was born 24 years ago on Dec 1st and he does the same, I love yous and your the best come from him all the time. You are truly blessed!
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Awwwww, super sweet. Twenty-four and he still thinks Mom is cool. I love it!!!
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A happy mummy day to you. And a HBD to your son. 🎊
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Thank you! ❤
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😃
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